I babysat the last 2 days and know what I realized? If I were able to babysit twice a week, I'd already be making more than what I do at PaperSource!!!! Isn't that ridiculous!!!? I have yet to hear back from any jobs, I applied for. I did received one rejection from Sephora, but I figured I would, since I have no cosmetology experience. I've been wondering how can I make some extra money. PS only scheduled me for 1 day next week and the week after that! I got $180 just for babysitting. I am very thankful for that. I told the people I babysit for let me know if they need me again because I am free. 

I am also writing this because I don't exactly know how today will go---I say this because my dad is coming with us to my cousins for Thanksgiving. This really irritates me, he comes and goes as he pleases and then when he returns he's intoxicated from alcohol or drugs. It's an endless cycle, gone for days then comes back, I am ashamed to admit this, but my dad is someone who I've come to HATE. I want no form of relationship with him. He is a drug addict, who only cares about himself. He is a stranger to me; he is not my dad or father; the only things I remember about him, is long car rides to visit him in jail. 

I often wonder if my feelings towards him are valid and acceptable. Or if I'm being selfish. 

Hopefully today goes well. 9:53am