The last few days have been tough. I feel all the emotions I've been holding in hit me at once--and that's my own fault. From the moment I woke up, I knew it would be a tough day. Why? Because for some reason once again, when things are going good, my dad decides to show back up. I'm not looking forward to having him here celebrating Christmas, he gets me in a bad mood--his energy and vibe is toxic. I do not want him here in the new year, he doesn't deserve a home cooked-meal. It's so annoying.
I went to babysit today and it brightened up my mood. Children are so innocent, it's a shame we as adults lose that growing up. The will to jump in to new things with no fear, no doubt, it's wonderful to see. They even gave me a Christmas gift, so it made me feel appreciated. Though today started out tough, I can say it ended on a good note in a sense. I need to leave a lot of old habits behind, I need to not internalize everything. I need really work on my communication skills. I'm learning that a lot lately.
I love you, but get it together, Raven-- get it together.