Life.

Life has light and life has dark--by dark, I mean sadness. I already wrote today, but felt driven to write about this topic. Why? Because it saddens me & breaks my heart, when I see loved ones being treated badly. It breaks my heart that I can't even call my dad, dad. It breaks my heart that I can't go to my mom to talk without her being judgmental. It breaks my heart me that I had to learn self-care, self-love, my worth, my beauty etcetera all on my own. From a young age, I've always been independent, I've always done what I want to do, I've never followed the crowd nor wanted to. I see all these things in the news about sexual harassment, about children who are 6 years-old or 10 years-old committing suicide because of bullying, I see school shootings and government not being for the people, but rather against the people--trying to control our internet accessibility, creating a system/environment that doesn't help minorities rise from poverty. 

I sometimes think of the future and how will things be, if I ever have kids of my own. I would never want my daughter/son to feel as if they are unworthy or can't come to me when they need to talk or feel troubled. I would never want my children to feel their skin color determines how far they go in life. I would want my children to learn to be self-aware. I love my mom, but I had to learn a lot on my own--I hope that I can provide them with the love and support they need. I would also hope that their father is someone who is active in their development. Providing them with things I cannot, giving them the male support that I didn't have, yet craved when growing up. I want to provide for them, what I never had and I don't mean materialistic things. 

Anyways, rant over.

11:11PM