I always wonder, how people deal with adversities, I always wonder, what keeps an individual thriving when roadblocks seem to come their way...The last week as been exhausting! From my boss telling me, I won't be needed next school year--to feeling the need to HAVE TO accept a job that pays way less than needed/of my liking, to dealing with my boss being so inconsistent and not acknowledging my hard work. I feel drained, I feel stuck. I'm trying my hardest to remain positive, to keep applying for jobs--but I feel I keep hitting road blocks.
Those whom I see complaining about how their parents cut their allowance or how their parents don't support them (yet their parents are paying their rent, paying their car payments etc)--truly I feel do not know the real struggle. I'm literally living paycheck to paycheck. I just took my car in to the shop and I'm hoping it's nothing serious---or else I'm screwed!
Either way, I'm proud of myself for keeping a positive mindset, for not wearing my heart on my sleeve---in the sense not letting people know of my struggles, not advertising as I see others do when they're looking for sympathy. I'm proud of myself for not letting it effect my mood--because sometimes I let small things ruin my whole day. It's hard not to worry though, when I'm worried about how I'll pay my car off once Summer comes along..will I be able to continue to pay my loans? Will I have money to at least treat myself to a massage- at least once a month. I'm turning 27 real soon--I feel like such a failure, but I will not give up in these times of strife--I will not--I will not...Someday, I hope I don't have to struggle--Someday, I hope I'm able to look back and say " I'm glad you kept going, I'm glad you didn't give up on yourself." I need to realize how far I've come and grown---rather than what I'm lacking.