Always Struggling

Today, I received my first check from Paper Source. And my my my, will I definitely not be able to live just off of that job during the Summer. For a long while, I have realized I know longer want to work with children. Maybe it's just the school I'm at now that has drained me and killed my passion for young children. Maybe I just need a change of environment--an environment where I actually feel appreciated and don't just feel like the token minority. 

I'm super worried how this Summer will go financially. At the moment I pay for my car, 2 student loans, my phone bill, and I have to give my mom rent money. My check would only be able to pay my phone bill and I'd barely have anything left. Though teaching doesn't pay that much--at least I would be able to pay those expenses. 

I hope I don't have to always live a life of struggle. A life where I'm always waiting on the next paycheck, always wondering the money is really worth it to buy a meal, if I should put gas in my car or will I be able to wait til my next check...My car keeps having issues and I keep having to put money into it. I'm becoming a bit overwhelmed. I choose my jobs based on my passion for it, but I feel I'm going to have to start choosing based on pay/money. I've never let money be the deciding factor in my choices--money isn't everything to me--I've never been materialistic like that. 

I'm trying to remain optimistic, but sometimes it gets hard.

Money or Passion? *sigh* Which do I choose? That's a hard one.