Everything in life is an endless cycle, an endless ride of ups and downs, smiles and frowns---sometimes I go above and beyond for things/people, I offer my services for others in order to help them out--never truly looking for anything in return except some appreciation/acknowledgment. Yet, it seems I constantly am getting duped over. I like to think of myself as a good, dedicated and loyal individual, but why do these things happen? I feel angry, but I also feel confused and sad. Am I just the token minority in which you feel as if you're doing charity work--by having me in your community?
I feel I deserve good things, I feel I deserve to be treated as I treat others, I feel I deserve to be at least acknowledged for the hard work, I put in. I am deserving of good things. I am a patient individual--and know good things are worth waiting for. But why in the meantime, must things that give me a sense of stability be taken? Why must I constantly be put through these tests, put through these struggles? What am I not doing right? Am I doing something wrong? Why must things be this way?
I feel extremely hurt, even if I dare not admit it aloud. I feel used, unappreciated and I'm stuck. I can't do anything about it because I NEED the money. I just wanna crawl in a hole right now---what am I here for? Why am I here? I don't see the silver lining---it's hard to at this moment.