Ctrl--The name of SZA's new album. It's not often that I like an artist's album enough to actually want to purchase it. When I purchase music, I usually only buy certain songs from an album, but rarely do I get the whole album---unless I really really love the artist--which is rarely these days! LOL
To me, this album is vulnerability and pure realness. It peels back the layers, letting one see the real deal---the real feels. For the past year, that's exactly what I've been trying to do--peel back the layers of myself, be more free, be more vulnerable, be more of who I wish to be...And who I wish to be is my PURE-TRUE Authentic self. Last year, I had the world in the palm of my hand--I was facing fears, enjoying each moment in the present. But then, I think somehow I began to let my insecurities and fears get the best of me. And instead of being the one with the controller in my hand-instead the controller had me in it's hand. What I mean by that is I let these fears, insecurities, self-doubt and negative thoughts become the driving force.
My plan starting now, is to regain control, regain my peace of mind, my confidence. I want to be vulnerable, I want to be the best me that I can be, I want to be the one with the controller in my hand--turning loses into gains. I feel that I am going to start taking more risks and showing the sides of myself that I don't show often. I am reserved, but I am also outgoing when I need to be. I am hoping that those whom I love and care for, will accept me and support me as I make these changes. My insecurities are the controller of my life, I'm the controller. Garden is one of my top favorite songs on the album--mainly because it deals with the fact of accepting oneself and hoping that those you love and care for will still remain by your side--even if you show them the bad sides of yourself too. It's expressing being grateful for being loved imperfections and all.❤
Accept me for both my good and my bad; that's all I ask. I can't be perfect, but I can be the best me I can be! ❤ x❤ o❤