Whoopsies for not writing. I didn't really have any words to say. I believe 3 days have passed since I wrote. Hmm, let's see--what has happened since. Well, since then, I heard back from a program that I applied for in June and they wanted to tell me I got in and also received the Scholarship. The program is with UCLA, the jest of it is to teach and educate educators in the arts. The program is 8 Saturdays starting in September. I will learn techniques to how to properly handle/assist those in need(those dealing with mental issues/struggling to let out anger/emotions/those looking for a positive outlet). At the end of the program, I will receive a certificate. So, I'm excited about that and all that I will learn. And I'm very thankful that they are willing to help me financially.
Also, the talk that I had been waiting to have finally happened. And I can say, I feel much better. I didn't really have much to say--as I feel I wrote so much that I got everything out. I did discuss how I feel-- I do not communicate as well as I should and also how I fear abandonment--which stems from my childhood etc. I know that there are things I have to work on and I'm happy to know that they are willing to stay/stick by me as I learn, grow and try to better myself/become the best me. I'm glad to have their support--I am very thankful for them--I truly do love them--And I appreciate them for always helping me grow. I'm grateful for this opportunity to grow and progress together. Also. I guess I fear when people see a weakness or flaw in me, they'll leave--Whereas, I always like to "preach" about it's okay to have flaws/imperfections--yet I don't tell myself that- It is true that I fear people will leave---It is something I really am trying to work on.
Trust that-- I definitely do love myself! I just think there are parts of myself that I am still a bit afraid to show, to let be seen for fear of judgment. This is me saying
CHEERS to New Growth, Facing Fears, Letting go of the fear of being judged & Learning to truly love ALL of myself, unapologetically without fear.
xo 2: 37pm xo