Life is so fragile and so often I think we take that for granted. Life is a gift and should be cherished. I try my best to always be kind to others, as you never know what they are going through. A simple smile or short conversation with a stranger can make all the difference in someone's mental state. Today, the lead singer of Linkin Park passed away due to suicide. I felt really sad hearing that news. I've been a fan of them since middle school. I would say I listened to rock A LOT when I was younger--somewhat was a rocker. I love rock music, I just feel the same way about it as I do about RnB---it's changed a lot--Rock & RnB was more authentic and relatable; these days genres seem more pop-ish and indistinguishable--and they're always about sex, drugs, random things that I could careless about.
In college, I became really depressed and had a lot of suicidal thoughts. I never really talk of this because it is a sensitive subject. I felt so alone. I remember I wanted to go to the counseling office for help since we were able to get free therapy/counseling, but was scared of being judged. I finally built the courage to go to the office and it wasn't as hard/humiliating as I thought it would be. I still deal with the issue of being judged, but am learning that I need to not be afraid of being judged---because no matter what you will be judged--there will always be someone who disagrees with your decision, who has negative comments to make and you can't let that hinder your progress. I remember when I went to see AM perform for an improve show and at the end the guy gave a speech about you have to risk looking stupid and just be yourself.
I want to move pass all the things that have happened to me, I want to move pass the self placed barriers, move pass self-doubt. May I shed old skin, may I make decisions that move me out of my comfort zone, my I challenge myself instead of hindering myself, may I remove facades, may I laugh more and be less serious, may I live for the now, may I let go of constant worry, may I be authentic and not feel ashamed, May I love the parts of me that I don't like as much, may I not be scared of judgment, may I not hold back.