Today was the official first day of preschool. Yesterday the children and their parents came; it was like a meet and greet, informing them about the program and other important dates and things they need to know. Then today was the official first day of school, though they had early dismissal. I was anxious and yet excited about how the day would go....Well, I ended up feeling I was lacking quite a bit in certain areas. Such as, during circle time my coworker would break out into songs and I knew none of them. She had a song for everything!! And I don't know any songs for the kids.
I know it was only the first day and that it is something new, so I won't get it right away--but I can't help but to be hard on myself. I don't want to let anyone down. This is going to be a real learning curve. But that's what I wanted, even if I don't want to be a teacher anymore. This is definitely taking me outside of my comfort zone, I feel there is so much pressure on me(which I probably am putting on myself). Today, I felt really inferior to my coworker and boss---and I don't want to feel that way. The things I am confident in are: lesson planning and reading to the children.
I'm up for the challenge, I just need to learn to be gentle with myself, believe in myself, trust the process, stay motivated and give myself time---I constantly am seeking balance and may I grow and not think of myself as inferior to others.
Lastly, today marks 2 years that I've known AM! Today is also his last day of Con and then of to Grad Revue, I cross my fingers that he'll get to end the program with friends!
xo 5:21pm xo