The last few weeks have been tough, I'm just proud of myself for staying positive through these times. Some days are better than the others. I went for an interview Monday and I liked the place. It would have been full-time with benefits, BUT today I woke up to an email saying they are going with another candidate. It seems nothing is coming my way. I know I am meant for more than just struggle, I just have to find my way, find the right direction.
I feel those around me haven't been very supportive either; judging my every decision, critiquing my every action; focusing more on what I do "wrong". It's so frustrating. Everyone has been testing my patience and getting on my nerves. I'm going to stay to myself for the next few days. It sucks that no job is coming my way. This makes me feel as if staying in the education field truly isn't my calling. The reason, I stick with it now is because it seems most promising financial wise--but may it is best I venture out into the art fields as I want. Whether it be performing(dance, poetry), whether it be helping in a program that helps children and youth artistically.
Though I do not like change, I have been very open and willing to accept changes that may come my way--but nothing is coming--if anything feels like everything is moving further and further away from me and my grasp.
Feeling unmotivated, drained, tired and hopeless. I know eventually I'll make it through this storm, but it's getting really hard.
Friday 23 March 1:35PM