As the last hour of my birthday ticks away, I can't help but to think how far I've come. I'm very hard on myself and sometimes more so focus on what I lack and haven't accomplished--rather than all the hurdles I made it over, all the times I persevered. I'm my own biggest fan and my own worst enemy. Now that I am 27, I feel it's time to take charge, push boundaries, rid myself of people who only want to use me for temporary purposes. I do not have time to waste with indecisive people, people with ill intentions, people who use and abuse my sincerity.
Each and everyday I do something to show myself "I love you"(meaning self love/appreciation). Whether it's cleaning, writing, dancing, singing, reading, surrounding myself in nature, learning. I'm learning to truly love my imperfections. I have many insecurities that I'm trying to heal and fix. Sometimes, I compare my beauty to others--I see guys like post of females who are Instagram famous, or I see guys liking/subscribing/following girls on instagram/tumblr who are webcam girls-post only nude-lingerie pics/vids & it makes me feel as if that's all guys are attracted to & want--someone who flaunts their skin, someone who can please them in only one way. I dislike superficial people. We live in a superficial society where looks seem to be the only thing that matters. But I wonder has anyone ever looked at me and wanted to know me for who I am inside? beyond the outer layer? wanted to know me for me--not for what I can give...I guess I've been thinking about that lately. I've never been the type to be superficial nor do I plan on being.
I want to connect with people who want to truly get to know me, I want to build friendships that will last. I may not know where I'm going/journeying to at the moment--but I know where I'd like to be. And I'm slowly but surely working to reach those goals and dreams. I want to be more vulnerable and not so guarded. I want to share my writings more--in hopes to connect with like-minded individuals--as well as be an inspiration to females/women of color. I aspire to inspire. Today at work as I checked out an older female(52), I asked what she was buying the items for and she told me how she pursued her dreams of becoming an interior designer at the age of 45 and how she's been successful. She went on to tell me, "If there's something your heart desires, go after it, sweetie." Her words came at the right time.
May my 27th year be filled with growth, peace, networking, love, clarity, stability, creativeness, patience, passion, adventures, getting rid of old/useless habits, creating new positive habits, being more health/fitness aware, more laughter-less tears, facing fears, inner peace, mindfulness, less overthinking/being inside my head.